What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

In the 19th century, German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche came up with this often-used saying . It is generally used as an affirmation of resilience. Or lyrics for Kelly Clarkson.

But after the past seven days, I am willing to put forth an argument that sometimes things that DON’T kill you will actually almost break you.

Now, before I begin let me outline the fact that this is going to be a very self indulgent post. You have been warned. If you are going to come at me telling me about first world problems, and I am so aware of that, but I am a hormonal, emotional, 46 year old perimenopausal woman with a public platform to be able to word vomit when required, so if you are going to roll your eyes at me or write FUCK YOU comments, I’m beyond the point of caring so knock yourselves out.

As you may know, last Tuesday at around lunchtime, a mini-cyclone hit our suburb. I was at home when the sky outside turned black. I opened the door and was all like “What the fuck?” as I saw a scene from The Wizard of Oz. So I did what normal people would do and went and jumped into bed and covered myself in blankets. Because that would make me safe. The wind was horrific and the rain was coming in sideways.

The cyclone only lasted 4 minutes tops. And then the sun came out. I was all like “That was strange…” and went to make a cup of tea.

It became obvious that we had no power. I texted the Real Housewives of Lindfield and nobody had any power. I then googled how long stuff could stay fresh in the fridge as I had just done a massive fresh food shop that morning.

I checked Twitter and Ausgrid confirmed that there were wide power outages and they were ONTO IT TOOT SWEET.

I drove up to the shops a while later to buy some ice for the esky when the extent of the storm became pretty obvious. It was like a war zone. Cars smashed by trees, live power lines down everywhere, the primary school was in lockdown and all the shops were shut.

I won’t go too much into it as if you follow me in Instagram I pretty well documented the physical scars that the storm left of my auburn, instead I will focus on my mental rollercoaster that I have been travelling.

I swung between being hysterically crying, hysterically laughing and just being hysterical in general. Being hysterical is exhausting. So I took to my bed a lot. My phone would run out of power and then I felt like I was living on Mars.

I had a sponsored post due for a client (please go and give it some love here)

As I had no power let alone wifi, I packed up my huge Mac and camped over at The Divine Ms M’s place to get work done, have a hot shower and sleep in a house with power. It was very nice but I had a feeling that after 24 hours the electricity would be back on, so I went home.

After 3 days without power, I realised that I had not seen an Ausgrid Van or worker in our suburb, and so I became the unofficial face of our suburb when it came to bitching about the lack of action to any media outlet who came a calling, of which there were plenty.

My low point was when Damien Ryan from Channel 9 News sat with me at my dining table. He asked me what my message to Ausgrid would be. I didn’t mean to, but watching it later it was obvious that I channeled Pauline Hanson and spat out the very sensible sentence “PULL YOUR FINGER OUT!”

Jesus.

The power outage lasted 6 days and there are still plenty of houses who still don’t have it and IT HAS BEEN A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!

Also, during the week, we welcomed the newest member of our family Dusty Springfield Woog.

We found out where our local council chambers was as they had big bins to dump your rotting food into.

We met a LOT of new neighbours who, like us, were wandering the streets trying to find out just the fuck what was going on.

I got attacked by a large dog at the Pet O Chatswood Store. I had a mini heart attack. The dog’s owner was not concerned enough in my opinion which leads me to believe that I have not been the first victim of this pooch.

My wisdom tooth is impacting my life in a way that is very unpleasant and so will be removed from my person later this week so I am dieting on painkillers at the moment.

Funnily enough, all this stress manifested itself into a coldsore.

The power eventually came back on and I wept. Wifi only just came back on last night so that is why I am writing to you today, because I have missed you so much. I spent far too much time in my head and sometimes I am very unkind to myself.

Mr. Woog and I went up to the supermarket to do just a quick shop to get us though, milk, cheese, bacon etc. When we came home we opened the fridge and it basically told us to fuck off, it was done. It had been affected by the power surge and was pronounced dead by our electrician friend.

If you are still reading this rant, well done.

My friend Mrs Webster is an angel sent from heaven and arrived with an esky full of ice, two bottles of tonic and a bottle of gin, so we were able to save this shop.

The next day out new fridge arrived (Shout out to the Good Guy at Chatswood, sorry for crying) and slowly life is getting back to normal.

So it didn’t kill me, but it certainly didn’t make me stronger. It just made me experience every single emotion that is known to humans. And then some new ones that I didn’t ever realise existed.

The End