How to be positive.

I was in the car the other day with Mr. Woog and I must have been being most unpleasant as he actually stopped the car, looked at me and said…

“I would really like it it you could try to be more positive.”

And it got me thinking how exhausting it would be to live with a miserable cow all the time, how it must sap one from one’s energy, and how I did NOT want to end up being that asshole in the end room at some god-forsaken old aged people’s home who gets no visitors being they are difficult. And unpleasant. And mean.

I want to be the nice Nanna that lives in a granny flat out the back of one of the boys houses. Preferably Jack, as he would cut my nails and make my hair look nice.

But how can one be positive when one has been living on a negative slant for a while now.

WHY DOESN’T ANYTHING FUCKING WORK IN THIS HOUSE?

WHO HAS PISSED ON THE FLOOR?

SERIOUSLY, YOU THINK THAT THAT BIN HAS MORE SPACE IN IT?

WHEN THE FUCK DOES SCHOOL GO BACK?

NO.

There is a lot of unwiring to do. So I took to Google to find out if I can find the end of the string.

Bing! There is actually an entity called The Positivity Institute which is an Australian institute situated in Double Bay, which means they are positively loaded. And all the people on the website look like they are stoned, such is their happiness.

Lucky Buggers…

So, Mrs Woog. Let’s think positively. I am positive that the snake is back in my bedroom again because Isobel growled at something this morning so I am not going back into the bedroom until Mr Woog gets home.

I am positive that the boys, who are out, are going to call me in the next hour to ask what is for dinner, which I positively do not know but will likely contain mince, as I am positive I saw some in the freezer yesterday.

I am positive that I am a GENIUS because I managed to print off the $100 Active Kids Vouchers for ballet and rugby this year! This is a very big deal, trust me. Me and government websites have had a rocky history.

I am positive that my upcoming mammogram will be negative.

I am 100% sure that my neck will never be the same again since I slept on it funny on Boxing Day.

And I know, that despite all my negativity, I am bloody lucky. And so are you. It just doesn’t seem like it at times.

Would you describe yourself as positive?