Position Vacant

You must have heard by now that Meghan and Harry have had enough of being Royal and have said “Toodle Doo” to the gang at Buckingham Palace.

Have you ever thought of doing the same?

Just pulling up stumps and fucking off for a bit? And do you think anyone would really notice…


We chose to “holiday at home” for several reasons this year. I had recently gotten back from Thailand, Mr Woog and the good one had recently gotten back from Japan and my diamond headband is too tight and is giving me a migraine.

The big one refuses to be seen in public with us so he is happy hanging out with his mates at various beaches and train stations. He will occasionally text asking for money. I will request a photo which I refer to as PROOF OF LIFE.

Please don’t call DOCS! He went to the Gym with his Dad last night. There has been a recent sighting!

I quite often wonder if I packed up a bag and took off for a while, whether anyone would notice I was missing. No, seriously. I don’t think they need me anymore, apart from the hours of personal admin I have to do for them. Paying this bill and that bill. Invoicing clients, getting paid only to spend the whole fucking lot at The Athletes Foot on 4 pairs of shoes.

(Side note. Went yesterday. Was not too crowded. Don’t risk waiting. That shit is the WORST)

So now I am just left with my two self-raising flowers. I am feeling a bit redundant. It is time for this Mamma to re-invent herself.

I just don’t know where to start.

Your Advice and Wisdom is Welcomed at this Point!