The Pedestrian Police

In this weeks episode of The Hot Flush, the Premier Podcast for the Peri-menopausal, Kim and I touch on a subject which I actually think could be a good idea.

Putting together a bunch of plain clothed pedestrian police to put a stop to anti social behaviour of those wanting to get from point A to point B by foot. This stems from us both loathing walking in crowds. Kim also spends a LOT of time commuting on a bus so I think her stronger feelings come across a lot more aggressive than mine.

She has formally called it The Pedestrian Demerit Points Scheme Proposal.

If you are walking in a group and stop suddenly without moving to the left, you will be fined.

If you walk while scrolling on your phone and you run into someone, you will be fined.

If you stand 2 deep on an escalator, you will be fined. The BOTH of you.

If you leave dog shit on the sidewalk, you will be tasered for sixty seconds, and then fined.

If you do that thing when you are walking towards someone and both of you duck the same way, then duck the other way at the same time, and manage to do this at least 6 times, you will be given a certificate of appreciation because that shit is FUNNY.

You can hear more about The Pedestrian Demerit Points Scheme Proposal as well as the time I a certain Orange President touch my boobs, here.