Thrives on Neglect

A few days ago, Mr Woog took me on a date. He takes me to the best places. The tip at Artarmon, Bunnings, destination dates. We used to go to art galleries before the womb raiders arrived. We used to be cultured. A little bit.

Recently we redid our lounge room and there was an awkward corner that was crying out for a plant. Indoor plants are having a bit of a moment on Instagram and in fancy house magazines, so, like the sheep that I am, I needed a plant and I needed it yesterday.

Mr. Woog, he of the now defunct Elk Horn Business Woog & Sons, well didn’t his little face light up at the prospect of going to…..

EDEN GARDENS! Their philosophy?

We believe in Enriching People’s Lives with Plants.  Our vision is “To be universally recognised as the world’s leading retailer of plant related products that enrich people’s lives.”

With the WOOG EXECUTIVE PARKING put into place, we scored the rock star park right next to the door. As I entered the nursery, a shudder ran through my body. It wasn’t a panic attack but it was not to be dismissed.

This yucky feeling stayed with me while we chose a nice indoor plant that had THRIVES ON NEGLECT sign on it, and two large ferns to hand outside my office. Green is soothing and helps with the creative flow, so I have read.

Mr Woog grabbed a few small lettuces for his veggie pod WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE NORMAL and some fertiliser just for shits and giggles.

Then it hit me. Welcome to middle age. I was experiencing some sort of hyperbolic state where I was getting flashbacks of going there with two toddlers who would not be content unless every display was annihilated, to being very excited at the prospect of getting a coffee at the cafe there.

I looked around and realised, we were those people. Those people whose biggest treat was to wander around in the 95% humidity, which was doing nothing for my already delicate state of mind, fingering ferns, flowers and fancy homewears and shrieking with delight.

“Deidre! Look at these dahlias!”

I informed Mr Woog that we had to leave IMMEDIATELY if not sooner. The cheerful staff tallied up our selection, announced the amount owed, Mr Woog’s face drained of blood as I shook my fist and said “This is all your fault, fucking influencers! $99 dollars for a Fiddle Leaf Fig with four fiddly leaves! FUCK YOU….”

Except I just said that in my head because the staff there are so helpful and friendly, not to mention knowledgeable.

Eden Garden is located at 307 Lane Cove Road. Please do not confuse it with Eden Garden Massage, which is a rub and tug joint in Crows Nest. You will only make that mistake once.

Are you a fan of wandering through a nursery?