United State of Brain

This morning I have already poured milk in my mug, placed it in the microwave for the thirty seconds to warm it up for that beautiful first coffee of the day. The microwave went BING and I opened it to find nothing there.

I had forgotten to put the mug in the machine.

It appears that my brain now has two functions. On and Off. When it is on, it is very, very busy. The other morning I woke up and it was hyper! Literally, I opened my eyes and something clicked in my brain as I started thinking, thinking, overthinking, questioning, fuming, becoming upset…

Do you remember that scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory where they go on the boat ride on the chocolate river? And they go through that hectic tunnel. THAT WAS WHAT WAS HAPPENING IN MY BRAIN.

It is not a relaxing way to start the day my friends!

Now, being a proud card carrying member of the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Gang, I am lucky enough to have the tools to deal with this.

So I spoke to myself gently.

“Really? Do we really want to do this? How helpful is this for you right now? Slow it down woman, it need not be…” and soon enough my brain had settled into a more relaxed state.

But then, the next minute I might be at the supermarket staring at the toilet paper section, with my mind completely empty. I have written about brain fog before and it is a real thing!

Sometimes I will be writing and when I write I do it very quickly (hence the typos, thanks Susan) when I will just stop and stare at a word. It might not be a difficult word. Just an ordinary word, like arrow.

ARROW

Does that look right? That doesn’t look right.

Arrow.

And then I will text Mr. Woog and ask him “How do you spell arrow?” and he will text back “Arrow.”

It is very hard to explain without sounding like a complete lunatic. But I know I am not alone.

I used to be an awesome multi-takser. I recall having a baby and a toddler and working, on the phone to a colleague while making mashed pumpkin while having a baby strapped to my chest.

Nowdays, I can walk into a room and then wonder what I was intending to do.

It is not unusual for me to ask the kids “Have you seen the thing?”

“What thing?”

” The thing that, you know, has the buttons.” while miming me using a remote.

“The remote? Yes, it fell down the back of the couch and I couldn’t be bothered to get it…”

If you could describe your current state of brain, what would you say?