Do you dob?

So it is about day 6738 of social isolation and staying at home. You wake up, get up and get asked by everyone in the house…

“What are we doing today?” I stare back at them and say nothing.

“Nothing…”

Cue the eye rolls and the teeth gnashing, along with flailing arms and general huffiness. Every morning the same thing. I am sure it is probably no difference at your joint.

I was talking to a friend the other day (on the phone) and we got to talking about dobbing. For my overseas readers, dobbing is an Australian term that we use when we tell on someone. Americans call it tattle tale.

MAY I PLEASE WARN YOU THAT IT IS VERY DIFFERENT TO DOGGING. DOGGING IS NOT DOBBING AND I URGE YOU NOT TO GOOGLE DOGGING AS YOU CANNOT UNSEE IT EVER. PLEASE DO NOT GOOGLE DOGGING.

When I was fourteen, I got dobbed on big time. And so I should have been. No the brain of a fourteen year old works in very mysterious ways, mainly being that you are the centre of the universe. I was in chapel and there was some sort of special giving service to raise money for bikes in Bangladesh. One of the teachers asked me to stay back at the end of the service, along with another girl, to count the loot.

Bikes for poor souls, or a new Sportsgirl sweater?

Look, I knew that I was going to hell anyway, so I slid the considerable coinage onto my bag.

PLOT TWIST! GOT DOBBED ON.

I was in the Headmistress’s office with a one-way ticket to a week at home. That particular headmistress hated my guts, used to tell me that my hair was too short, that I was a disgrace to the school’s reputation and that basically I was doing to end up doing nothing with my life.

She had the hair and general aura of an elderly Border Leicester. Here is an example.

Champion Border Leicester – 2000gns

Anyway, so I got dobbed on and sent home from school to think about what a dog act I had done. (do not google dogging). And it WAS a dog act. What an entitled little shit I was. All money was returned but not all was forgiven.

But how about the modern dobbing that is happening now? The streets are patrolled by police cars, asking where you are going and who are you with. People are either quite casual, or a fully blown narcs. You can be made to feel like a criminal as you wait for your dog to finish their shit so you can pick it up.

And people are calling the police. It makes for a very tense time to be even more…. tense. Everyone now knows everyone’s business and I have seen some pretty average behaviours. Everyone is operating on a different level of anxiety.

In the past two weeks, 22,000 Victorians called the police hotline to report breaches of isolation. That’s a whole lot of dobbing going on. I am firmly on the fence with this one.

What about you? Would you, are have you corona dobbed?

who googled dogging? dear lord….