Hyper Vigilance​ in the time of Corona

I have a single hair, a rogue hair, that grows out of the middle of my forehead. It is super, super fine and I usually pluck it when I notice it. But I don’t anymore. I want to see how long I can grow this hair. I woke up in the middle of the night the other day and gave it a good fingering. I am now able to twirl that hair.

And then I wondered whether it was actually the start of a horn, and was I indeed turning into a unicorn.

Welcome to hyper vigilance in the time of Corona! Spending time with my brain has been quite the ride. I have decided to resurface on this blog, because I hid under my Doona for a few days, and after a few days I decided that I needed to rediscover something that usually sparks joy, so here I am!

A few things.

People I live with are not quiet. Even when they are not producing sound via their mouth (or asshole – the farts. I will not go there but just saying, entering my space, cocking your leg and letting rip is NOT appreciated) they STOMP. And they open every kitchen cupboard and leave them open. I am doing a lot of deep breathing.

Speaking of which, I have this fucking app on my phone which, every two hours during the day it goes PING, which if you are hyper vigilant can see you having to be scraped off the roof. It goes PING and reminds you to take a deep breath and relax.

It is so not relaxing.

Hyper vigilance anxiety can also flood when someone dares walk past our house. Everything will be quiet and then the dog will completely lose her shit. Do you know how many people are out walking where I live?

There is a LOT.

I have been on hold now to Dan Murphy’s for forty five hours chasing up an order on the 31st March. Every few minutes a man comes on and reminds us not to lose our shit with the customer service reps.

Did you know that you can shop online and collect your order in two hours. And if your enquiry is about a wedding, they cannot help you at this time…

Speaking of pores, I used to spend at least ten minutes a day examining mine in the magnifying mirror. I have not done this for three weeks now. I think I am subconsciously saving it up for a special treat.

Maybe Easter Sunday!

The holding music for Uncle Dan’s is straight from a funeral. And if your enquiry is about booze for a funeral, they cannot help you at this time…

Oh and the other stupid thing I have done is that I have taken to going to bed early and catch up on the entire season of The Handmaids Tale, and let me tell you, it is possibly the WORST thing to do in these times, But Offfred just had her baby so I am kind of invested.

Anyway, I think that is enough rambling from me for the time being. All ok I suppose. Apart from Dan.

And you? Blessed day?