You say it like it’s a bad thing

According to the Oxford Dictionary, Middle Age is defined as those glorious years between 45 and 65. It is the age, if you are female, that your hormones try to turn you into a man. (Hello beard and moustache.)

*sits in ones rocking chair, takes a swig of Drambuie while adjusting my knee rug*

Back when I was young you were taught to respect your elders or run the risk of being taken out to the backyard and being the recipient of a whole lot of whoop-ass.

Now that I am officially “middle-aged” I am wanting to see a return to respecting one’s elders. For the record, I am 46 even though for the last six months I believed and told people I was 47 as I wasn’t sure. So basically, I am Benjamin Button.

So, stay with me if you can, you cannot believe my offence QUELLE HORREUR when this young whippersnapper left the following comment on a recent blog post…

Now, I know it is a young person because her name ends in i. Tiffani, Sammi etc. And she wrote CRINGE which I actually wrote in the blog post as a reference to my generation Z Womb Rangers, who look at me and say it to me on an almost daily basis.

But the rest of the comment left me baffled! Having said that, I am well aware that middle aged people CAN suffer from cognitive loss, so I am not going to beat myself up about that one, but did you know that we are actually super clever, us old ducks, because experience and strategies can help mask our daftness.

Look, I like young people in general. I like them so much a partook in the manufacturing of two of them myself! But labelling someone “Middle aged”, well Danni you say it like it is a bad thing. It’s not. It’s great. And as you get older, it gets even better. You can get away with so much!

Like yesterday, as I watched my 72 year old Mother try three times to pay for something at a shop with her Qantas Frequent Flier Card. She was insistent that the machine was malfunctioning.

Danni, Evil Mrs Woog would be quite blunt to you about your agism and your other bizarre notions about my ability to be “relatable” with a swift tongue lashing about your respect to older and were you born in a barn etc, but you have got me on a good day.

I wish you nothing but the best, as you suck on your blueberry vape and make up your Tik Tok dances, while trolling in between getting your nail art perfected, but I will leave you with this to think about.

The older you get, the better you get.

Unless you are a banana.