Swapping snakes for rats

A friend of mine woke up on Monday morning and wandered into her television room to be greeted by an intruder. It is never nice to have unexpected guests, particularly one that looked like this…

If I was faced with this I suspect all bodily fluids would take immediate leave from my person. The thing that made me even MORE nervous is that my friend lives in my neighbourhood. WHICH MEANS THAT THERE ARE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES THE SIZE OF PALM TREES THAT LIVE IN MY AREA.

Shut up, I know that it is a harmless diamond python but it was three and a half meters long and totally capable of swallowing a small child.

Anyway Wires was called and they were lovely. They said he was a bit underweight {rejoice the young families of our hood for you have been spared} so they were going to rehabilitate him with a few frozen rats and will release him a bit further away this time.

I say THIS TIME because this is the SECOND time this wannabe handbag and matching belt has gatecrashed at my mates joint.

Our suburb is 13 kilometres from the CBD of Sydney, its not like we are in tropical Queensland or anything. It has given me PTSD about that time I was asleep in bed when Chuy bought me in a baby red balled black snake WHICH WAS ALIVE! Or that time a green snake lived under my bed during a heatwave…

The new house is located one kilometre from the CBD of Sydney, but I am still uneasy about the wildlife on offer there. But knowing that it is a breeding ground for future diamond python dietary requirements, I suppose it is the lesser of two evils. Must get more cats.

Do you have snakes where you live?