My new business idea

For those who follow my shenanigans on Instagram will know that we recently moved house. Moving house is considered the third most stressful thing one can do.

Considering 2020 has proved to be the ultimate shit show anyway, why not throw a move on the bonfire hey? I mean, why wouldn’t you!

But this blog post is not a social commentary about the alarming goings on in our world, nor is it about lively discussions you have with your partner while carrying a couch.

This post is about my 3 days of couch convalescence I have endured.

Before we get into that though, I think it is important that we arm ourselves with a little in-depth information regarding the adductor longus muscular system.

It is the red thing here.

“The adductor longus muscle is a hip abductor muscle located in the inner thigh. This muscle controls the thigh bone’s ability to move inward and from side to side.” If you are super interested in finding out more, please click here.

It was a dull and drizzly morning, the Sydney sunshine that we had so been enjoying had been replaced with grey skies and fresh temperatures. I looked around the new house and was quite pleased with how it had all come together. As usual, there were piles of washing dotted around the place. Having checked the weather app and discovering that sunny skies were not in my near future, I resigned myself to the fact that I could no longer put it off, citing the weather as an excuse. I had a tumble drier.

I had no excuse.

Now, the new house has an outside laundry which, to get to, you had to go down a small flight of stairs, meander through the garden path, past a huge fishpond and down another stair or two.

Hang on, I’ll show you.

I am pointing at the laundry which you have to complete an obstacle course to get to.

With my arms loaded up with wafty, rancid garments, I made my way down the small flight of stairs, meandered my way through the garden, managed not to fall into the fish pond, navigated two mossy covered stairs….

A moment later I was staring up into the tree tops, covered with wafty, rancid garments.

Can I tell you that brick pavers have absolutely no give in them whatsoever? And when dusted with wet leaves, it takes on the properties of an ice rink. I landed hard on my ass and elbow, while my legs had tried their best to stabilise me, the left one had slid off into a very strange and unnatural angle, resulting in me suffering a groin injury.

Having a groin strain has proven to be very very very not fun. You are reminded of it every time you move. I have been shuffling around like a 90-year-old but after 3 days I think I am on the mend. Right buttock check still very tender.

And I haven’t done a load of washing since!

I used to love going to visit my Nanna Myrtle Murphy in her assisted living unit. Without fail I would use the facilities and take great delight in pressing the ASSISTANCE REQUIRED button and wait for the medical staff to rush though the door.

I am thinking about investing in a new business …

Do you think there is a market for a pimped up, bedazzled personal alarm device? Everything on the market is very utilitarian…..