The Reset Sign

When things from the technology world start to fuck up, the advice you are often given is to switch it off, bang it against the coffee table three times, then switch it back on to see whether it has made a difference.

You hopefully can reset it it back to the factory specifications and begin fucking it up all over again. Specifically, think of a Foxtel remote. Or anything connected with the NBN. Oh I could just go out and strangle something right now…….

Anyway, back to todays lesson.

Factory settings.

Personally, the faint tingle I get several times a year indicates to me that I might be getting a cold sore. I take three of these horse steroid* tablets from the chemist and pray to the God of Herpes that I have got onto it in time. But I actually see this attack not just as a physical blemish, but a sign that something else is going on in me, and I have to acknowledge that is is The Reset Sign.

This means one of many things, but can be all found ounder the umbrella of JESUS WOMAN STOP EATING ALL THE SHIT, DRINKING ALL THE WINE, STAYING UP TOO LATE WORRYING ABOUT EVERYTHING, YELLING AT THE KIDS AND ALL THE OTHER THINGS YOU DO TO ELEVATE YOUR STRESS HORMONES YOU DICKHEAD.

Do you understand what I am trying to say?

Reset signs come in many shapes and sizes. A quick whip around the WoogsWorld community came up with this list.

  • conjunctivitis
  • acne
  • alopecia
  • Sinus infection
  • sore throat
  • mouth ulcer
  • Heather yells at her cats
  • aching glands
  • nose cold sore
  • Emma’s eye twitches
  • nerve pain
  • tonsilitis
  • jaw pain from grinding
  • migraine

Right now, I think the whole world needs to be turned off, whacked on the coffee table three times and turned back on because the universal reset sign is going apeshit.

How do you know when you have hit the wall?

*famvir

PS Love to you Victoria