The towelling that is terry

Bucky Beaver, Rickety Kate from Bogan Gate and of course BOYS DON’T MAKE PASSES AT GIRLS WHO WEAR GLASSES. Yep, thats me on the left.

Do you recall I recently wrote an article about the evils that shirring can be to lumpy ladies like me good self? No? Read it here.

But look at me up there, absolutely wearing the shit out of shirring! Actual evidence that I have always been a fashionista, she writes as she pulls her tracks out of her ass.

I always admired my older sister’s style, knowing that soon I would grow into her wardrobe while she got a new one. I didn’t mind. I dutifully fulfilled my second child status BECAUSE LOOK AT THAT TERRY TOWEL STRAPLESS DRESS!

Terry towelling. A more sensible fabric I am yet to come across. Cool, comfortable, not to mention absorbent! Absorbency is a property that is very important to middle aged women, as you can be reduced to a puddle with no rhyme or reason. Terry Towelling has an ability to moisture wick. Moisture wicking is not some kinky synonym for sexy time, it just means that it encourages sweat to fuck off.

The first industrial production of terry towelling began in England in 1850, so it is still quite in it’s infancy. There are two types, Towel Terry and the fancy French Terry, of which my sisters strapless dress is fashioned from.

If you keep looking at that dress with jealousy, I have some very good news for you.

TERRY TOWELLING IS BACK BABY!

Do you know when your kids start listening to music from our generation and get super surprised when you start singing along?

“I said maybe, your going to be the one that saves me……”

And then they ask “How do you know that song Mum?” and you again try to tell them that you were once cool? That? That. It is now happening with terry towel clothing. Annoying millennials are designing with it and marketing it as something cool when really we knew this all along.

But I believe I have the jump on the Instagram Influencers about this trend. Remember, you read it here first. This summer you will be wearing some sort of form of the towel that is Terry.

You too can be as happy as this cheery chick, who has just realised she has dropped $300 to look like a toddler.

Buy your Terry Il Pareo Sundowner Bianca Wankerface Jumpsuit HERE.

Are you investing in terry this season?