She ain’t what she used to be

So a close personal relative of mine, who gave birth to me, is getting a medical procedure done right now as I type, which makes me clench my butt cheeks as the very thought.

I am all about respecting peoples privacy.

I have been spending a lot of time this week learning about something called “pain body” which has now lead me to practising Buddism for the last few days. Don’t worry. It was like the time when I said I would never eat Maccas again after watching Supersize Me.

This was the situation yesterday.

FUCK YOU NEUTRAL BAY MACCAS! Vanilla Coke instead of Diet Coke? May you forever burn in hell beverage attendant….

Anyway, the point of todays lecture is about pain.

This time last week, I had a glorious day with these idiots who I love more than life itself…

And we partook in a series of fermented beverages. This lead to a kitchen disco in which I thought I was 19 again and attempted to do “the worm”. This resulted in me suffering from a pinched nerve in my neck.

This was not a pleasant experience.

It has niggled me all week. The sharp hot needle pain has subsided, but has now slipped into a dull, predictable thud that has moved into my shoulder.

I put a load of washing on this morning. I walked past Mr. Woog while I had my palm digging into my upper right buttock.

“What’s wrong with your ass?” he enquired.

FUCKING SCIATICA PAIN!

I am broken. I am zen and all that shit because buddha etc, but man, this old grey mare she ain’t what she used to be.

Remember going out for a night didn’t mean you would pay for it for a week?