How I became foggy. IT WAS AN AMBUSH!

I think it happened about six months ago. It was as if I heard to doorbell ring, and I wrapped myself up in my bathrobe. I walked down the stairs thinking “Who the devil is this at this hour?”.

I opened the door and BAM. Some invisible forced slapped my across the face. I saw a few stars, before going into the kitchen to make some coffee and that is how I suspect started it all.

The Brain Fog.

Now, I might have made those two first paragraphs up, but that was how quickly my brain began to fade.

Growing up, I recall my Nan saying things like “I would lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on…” I remember my Mum looking at me trying to get my attention as she went through all of my four siblings monikers before getting to my actual name. Now I am that person.

Look, I am all about embracing my middle-aged woman status, for we are a force to be reckoned with, but this brain fog has gotten me a little concerned.

Last week I ordered a takeaway coffee. Simple. Done it thousands of times. When they called my name I went to collect my beverage and wished the cafe staff nothing but a glorious day. Walking out of the door, the sun was shining when I heard someone walk up behind me.

“Excuse me, but could you come back in and pay?”

What. A. Fucking. Idiot.

Oh and then there was this week when, during my never-ending search into addressing some medical issues, the specialist handed me a large A3 envelope containing very important documents, scans and referrals. As I walked along Macquarie Street my phone started to ring. It was the lovely receptionist from the clinic asking me if I was able to come back to the surgery…

TO. PAY.

At this rate I am going to find myself in front of a magistrate, pleading insanity which seems not far from the mark at the moment.

Anyway, after I paid I decided to take myself for a walk through the city where I was successful in completing a legal transaction, exchanging money for coffee and cake. Then I went window shopping, tried on expensive things that I could never afford, visited every Chemist Warehouse trying to track down my holy grail, (unsuccessfully) before making my way back home only to find that during my adventures, I had lost the large A3 envelope containing very important documents, scans and referrals.

So then I had to ring up the specialists and explained what had happened and I swear, I could hear that receptionists eyes rolling from here which I do not blame her one bit!

Looking back over these last few months, I realise that I am no longer capable of doing two things at a time, whereas I used to be a multitasking guru. I have to write lists, endless lists. My kids get the shits with me when I ask them what time they will be home “I already told you!” and absolutely everything needs to be entered on both a physical calendar and my iPhone with alerts set.

AND THE WHOLE FUCKING THING IS TOO MUCH!

60% of middle-aged women experience brain fog. And here is why according to the website Healthline.

What’s causing this foggy thinking? Scientists believe it has something to do with hormone changes. Estrogen, progesterone, follicle stimulating hormone, and luteinizing hormone are all responsible for different processes in the body, including cognition. Perimenopause lasts an average of 4 years, during which time your hormone levels may fluctuate wildly and cause a range of symptoms as the body and mind adjust.

And the cure includes all those same old chestnuts like eat proper food, sleep exercise blah blah blah. Something about sudoku and oily fish….

Anyway, welcome back to another year of complaining to strangers on the Internet. I suspect there will be a few more mysterious tales to tell. And thanks to the OG glad who have been reading since the beginning. Can you believe it has been 12 years. Sheesh. No wonder I am falling apart.

How would you describe your cognitive fitness? Ninja or Jellyfish?