You are an idiot. A lesson in telling your inner critic to fuck right off.

I am not sure where this blog post will end up, but let's just suck it and see? "I am my own worst enemy." I told a mate recently to which she responded with "You said it sister!" and then we clinked our cans of Diet Coke together. Then she admitted that she felt that her own confidence was on the decline, and I know that there are a lot of … [Read more...]

Are you firing on all cylinders?

Every morning I get up, I read the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I shave. - George Burns The other day I was on the phone to my Mum when we started talking about certain dates. Naturally I started looking for my phone to check the dates and it took me some time to realise that it was in my hand, being used as an actual telephonical … [Read more...]

How to sleep. Or not.

The first conversation I have every morning with Mr. Woog is about the quality of the last nights sleep. Because when you get to a certain age there is not much left to talk about. Sleep, the weather, the state of the world, which kid is pissing us off the most, you know. The important stuff. Sleeping is a bona fide hobby of mine. Some people … [Read more...]

We do not need to be fabulous!

A few years ago I went along to hear author Jane Caro discuss her latest book Plain Speaking Jane. Plain speaking! She sure was. But every single word that come out of her mouth was like some sort of mini truth bomb that exploded in my brain. She spoke about the enormous amount of pressure that women place on themselves because we believe that … [Read more...]

Is the Dinner Party Dead?

From my earliest memory, Mum would throw dinner parties. We had a formal dining room that was never used apart from her dinner parties. Mum would spent all day making Beef Wellington and Potato Dauphine in between polishing silver and goblets. The "good" cutlery was used and the records were lined up in order of preferred play. Mum would light the … [Read more...]

Never trust a fart

Warning. This blog post contains strong imagery. Reader discretion advised. Oh punters, I have been poorly. I have managed to stride through the winter, watching my family fall to the dreaded flu one after the other. But not me. I WAS A FEIRCE MOTHERFUCKING WARRIOR WOMAN WHO WILL SLAY ANY VIRUS THAT CROSSES MY PATH! The small one fell first. … [Read more...]

Best Pissing Practices

Drain the main vein. Syphon the python to keep the bladder gladder Having a piss Making a wee Whatever you call it, I know a lot more about it today than I did yesterday. This is because our usual Huffy Puffy class was taken by a physio where we talked all things pelvic floor! Did you know that one in three women experience "leakage" on … [Read more...]

Not so dynamic

Difficult working conditions here at Casa Da Woog this week as Mr. Woog spent the weekend tending to his beloved garden. With Spring upon us he has been going heavy handed on the fertiliser and may I just say that my eyes have been watering ever since. I have a very weak stomach and a very sensitive demeanour when it comes to unpleasant smells. … [Read more...]

Prepare the Laser!

  So losing one's eyesight is also one of the many things that one can look forward to, as the years whiz by. I spent the first ten years rocking a spectacular pair of clunky bi-focals and didn't I cop it from my peers! "FOUR EYES!" "Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses...." They were the main ones. I used to have a … [Read more...]

Spring Fling!

Spring has sprung well and truly around these parts and to celebrate, I SHAVED MY LEGS! Shaving my legs is a bit of a big deal because it must be approached with gusto. My mind set needs to be in the right place otherwise just the front of my legs gets done, and that is still a fairly patchy result. I knew I had to do this talk this week as I felt … [Read more...]